April 2012
53 posts
Hoping, but not
[[MORE]]
Been a lotta perpetual disappointment, lately. I’m hoping being home, being able to literally put my hands on the problem, will help. And still, never quite sure how much is me being a bitch and how much is legitimate, but dammit, I don’t know what to do either way when I’ve fallen in love with the personification of a fun-loving rock. Can’t get blood out of...
I wish there was a ctrl+f for books...
“Darling, darling, doesn’t have a problem lying to herself cause her liquor’s top shelf”
“Example: Crumple a piece of paper into a ball. It will fall faster than a loose...”
– Shane Koyczan, Tomatoes (via ellemncole)
I really don’t know if I’m asking for too much, or if I’m just not getting enough. Either way, I’m trying to stop caring. Again.
Did you wanna come over? I was just about to call you Did you say you were lonely? I was just about to miss you
-Horrible Crowes
Summertime Sadness
And it ain’t even here yet.
“Nothing scares me anymore”
Trying to go to sleep Haikus
Nick, I meant to try To convince you poetry Is just words and words
But now I’m thinking Poetry is closer to Bodies and bodies
HI....
Alright, I’ve been secretly on Tumblr all this time. Abby never changed my password and I never asked her again to do it, so yeah… Here I am, not going or gone anywhere. Bah ha.
ALRIGHT
I am a terrible person, and I need professional help with my procrastination, but for now, all I can do is have my beautiful friend Abby take control and change the passwords so I can’t access Tumblr. Whew.
Therefore, I will not be on Tumblr for at least two weeks, so I can do “studies ‘n shit.” If you see anything from my Tumblr in the next two weeks, it is the works of...
1 tag
I have the self-denial skills of a billionaire playboy drug lord.
That terrifying moment when you need to fart...
And this is why I love Tumblr, because I would never say that on Facebook. SHOULD I say it on Tumblr? I dunno, probs not, because I’m a classy mutherfucker, but I do it anyway.
In the meantime, I’m clenching like a girl trying not to give birth at prom.
It’s a startling and unsettling thought that a person you care about would probably be just as happy without you, if you just left.
I guess I should cultivate my own happiness without relying on anyone else, but as a seemingly social creature, it sure is hard.
No expectations
I’m thinking that’s the secret to this. If you don’t get your hopes up, if you never check your phone, then anything you get is a gift. I’m just not going to get worked up about anything except poetry and cats. Poetry and cats have never disappointed me.
[[MORE]]I wish we’d come home and gotten naked. We’d skipped the wine and movie and rolled into bed with open legs. That the weight of silence was lifted with only sighs and slippery sounds. The communication was made of come and not questions. I’d never asked any questions. I’d beaten my conscience against your cock until they assimilated. I’d counted the good...
Love is not a given that solves all transgressions. Love will bend over backward, but it’s better to bend over backward for love.
“The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with...”
– Elizabeth Browning- One Art
When I'm Pissed
I passive aggressively cut all my fingernails to the quick. I listen to shitty music and read shitty poetry. If I’m driving, I spend a lot of time on my phone because I have no concept of personal safety. I think of all the things I’d say if I knew it would matter. I eat McDonald’s and become ashamed. I rationalize everything so that it’s my fault . I self-deprecate like...
“When we landed on the Moon, that was the point where God should’ve come up and...”
– Eddie Izzard (via stufx)
Umm yeah
I’m about to do my first round of the 30 Day Shred. I’m alone, and I’m still worried about embarrassing myself.
Found my first Italian porno, looks early 90s. I wish my Italian was better…
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.[[MORE]]I used to be able to put my ear to the wall and listen to Diane sobbing in her room. It sounded like weakness and fear and I turned my music up.
Maybe this room is haunted. It’s empty now except for me and my own tears. I try to be quieter because I know how sound travels, and the boy next door doesn’t want to hear my weak fear. Even with no sheets on the bed, no pillows to...
My life is so hard. Bitch bitch, moan moan. But seriously, I’m so tired of e-ver-y-thing these days. A lot of silence and guilt going on A lack of lips and love. So tired. Sleep doesn’t solve anything.
Soul mates are made, not found.
